One day after another

"Busquei o Senhor, e ele me respondeu; livrou-me de todos os meus temores. 
Os que olham para ele estão radiantes de alegria; seus rostos jamais mostrarão decepção.
O anjo do Senhor é sentinela ao redor daqueles que o temem, e os livra.
Provem e vejam como o Senhor é bom. 
Como é feliz o homem que nele se refugia!"
Salmo 34:4-5; 7-8

  

Learning to love

Living with Vitoria's presence has been a great joy. I am a mother and have a baby to love and care for. My daughter has made me rethink many things. Why do we have children? Before she was born, I had many answers to this question. Nowadays, not so many. Nevertheless, I feel this great joy and desire to be a mother. Before Vitoria, I thought I wanted a child to see her grow, help her develop and become a healthy, happy adult, someone with confidence and high values. I wanted to teach my child to love God and help others, and also to give me happiness during my elder years. Will I live all these moments with Vitoria? I don't know. The doctors say I won't. Many friends and relatives also think I won't. I myself think that maybe I won't. However, I do not have many certainties in this life anymore. I no longer feel anxious about the future.

Honestly, the future does not concern me now. Vitoria's future isn't the most important thing right now. Her present is. And her present, despite its fragility. brings me much joy. It brings me life. Her present is so relevant, so important. It is strange. This child, who received so many death sentences, whose death was and still is expected by doctors, relatives, friends, this child only brings me life. I had never felt so alive and happy like I did during my pregnancy. So free. Despite the fact that I had some sad and uncertain moments.

Vitoria brought me strength to live, to fight, to be happy against all odds. My daughter taught me to see God like a real father, who takes care of me, and to whom I can cry for help and, then, rest. Vitoria taught me to trust. To really trust, without doubts. Without objections.

Going back to the initial question, why do we have children? Right now I do not know if I'll be able to experience certain moments with my daughter. Right now all I have is the present time. I cannot talk about her future and the expectations I have for her, like parents usually do. I do not feel frustrated or unhappy as a mother, though. The only thing I can think of is that I want to have my daughter to love her; to learn how to love; to get to know her and make her feel loved; very much loved.

I think we have children so that we can love.

Vitoria is on month old!

02/12/2010 - Vitoria is one month old!

So teach us to number our days, That we may get us a heart of wisdom. Lord, you have been our resting-place in all generations. Before the mountains were made, before you had given birth to the earth and the world, before time was, and for ever, you are God Psalm 90:12; 1-2

Dear friends!

We are very happy and thankful to God, because Vitoria is completing 30 days of LIFE, and she is going well. Each one of these days were incomparable and very special - an invaluable present from God. 30 wonderful days, despite of many challenges and uncertainties.

She keeps on having problems with digestion, with very often vomits. Some days are better, others are worse. She presented a beginning of infection and had to receive antibiotic via intravenous. And besides, she was with anemia and had to receive blood transfusion twice.

In inspite of all that, she´s every day prettier and surprising us with new gestures and looks. She is

smarter and more active in the moments she is awake, crying and making noises when she doesn´t like something. And she keeps on sleeping a lot, in the most perfect peace, with her delicate and long hands close to her little round face.

And we keep on fighting, being in some way comforted by her, who, even being so fragile, shows herself so strong. Showing to everybody, with serenity, that it is God who sustains her. Showing to everybody God is so good.

We thank so much all your prayers and all love we are receiving.

We are so thankful for having so lovely friends and relatives.

God bless you always!

Hugs, with love,

Marcelo, Joana and Vitoria de Cristo

---

Happy is the man whose strength is in you; in whose heart are the highways to Zion.

Going through the valley of balsam-trees, they make it a place of springs; it is clothed with blessings by the early rain. They go from strength to strength; every one of them comes before God in Zion. Psalm 84:5-7

Vitoria´s first Pictures

Vitoria was dianosed with acrania on 12th week of pregnancy. We loved her so much even before this hard diagnostic, and our love for her only increased after that

God gave us strenght to carry her to term

And she was born by a C-section, with 38 weeks of pregnancy.

 

She had 1.785 k (4,78 pounds) and 38 cm (14,96 in): so small, and so special.

Actually, she is the most precious present we received from God

 Carry her to term was the best thing we could have done

 Only to know her, and to tell she was so loved

 We didn´t know she would survive for so long against all expectancy

 But we felt absolutly in peace

 Because we had loved and accepted our daughter as she was, exactly as God loved and accepted us

And we had done our best for her. 

And when I took her in my arms for the first time, it was the happiest moment in my whole life.